It's easy to be harsh toward one's self. I can be really tough and impatient sometimes.
Thankfully yoga helps notice when that's happening and quiet down the harsh ruler who wants perfection now, without working for it. There's no instant change. You can't get SUDDENLY SUPER FLEXIBLE. The body doesn't work that way. You have to build it. With the slow progress comes the more sustainable result.
It's quite common to be more flexible on one side than the other. For me left has always been the "good side" while right just needs more time. More practise. More patience. More understanding.
I used to press the right side until it hurt. This is the greatest difference between regular exercise and yoga. The awareness. You have to listen to your body. No means no, maybe means ok go until no. Never go past no.
There's an asana where you connect your hands behind back with one elbow reaching up and one down. I tried a few times but just couldn't reach. Then a few nights ago while I was brushing my teeth I had one hand behind my back. Then I started wondering... how far can it go? The pose came into my head and I let go of the toothbrush to reach the left hand with my right. WOW!
So how do I practice the right side for this?
Grab a scarf. Hold one end with your left hand. Breathe in and lift the scarf up above your head and as you breathe out fold the arm above your head behind your back. You don't have to reach far. Take the right hand behind your back and reach up, grabbing the other end of the scarf. Very gently pull the scarf, bringing your right hand just a little further up your back every time that you breathe in. Just a little bit more. Just as far as feels comfortable. Stay. Breathe 5 more deep breaths through the nose. Exhale as you slowly let go. Then use your right hand to gently pull down the left. 5 breaths. Let go and exhale. Remember to do the exercise on both sides to maintain balance. Eventually when the time is right. You won't need the scarf anymore!
The great thing is that it gets easier each time. I still can't reach the other way, but there's great comfort in knowing that it's possible. Yesterday the fingertips touched and that's enough progress to keep me going.
