If you get reversed king Midas touch

What do we do when we feel that we're not living up to expectations?
I have to admit that I little while ago found myself back in the bottomless pit of unreasonably high expectations. It is a place where you might think high expectations would result in perfection. Alas, I find that it is much more like a reversed King Midas touch. No gold. Just crap. It is a place of little or no logic.

 

How do we make sense of it? Well first of all when we find ourselves there we must know that we usually are going about things all wrong. Take a step back and ask yourself:

• In the best of worlds what would I have done? What would the ultimate version of you have done? Then do that next time, or at least take a step in that general direction. 
• How can I make things easier? It is easy to get into negative self talk when experiencing that things aren't going as planned. When you find that happening stop it immediately. And don't blame yourself. Remind yourself as often as you can to be kind until it comes naturally. 
• Will this matter tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year? In ten years? Whatever it was it is surely not the end of the world. Honestly it does not serve anyone to worry. It might be helpful to put a restraint to either "ok I will think about this for 5 minutes" or I have thought about this three times, that is enough.
• "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" Our body and mind needs care. When we're stressed and feel we have much to do we might put or needs aside for this oh so important thing. That's a warning sign. Here we must practise restraint, responsibility and above all respect for ourselves. And if you find that warning is coming up often then maybe you need to reevaluate what you're juggling or re-plan your routines.
• Get your mind to a positive place by guided meditation or inspirational talks. It doesn't have to be for a long time. Even a few minutes or a moment can do the trick sometimes.

You can do anything you want.

But you cannot do everything at once.

The worldwide multi-tasking efficiency illusion madness must come to an end. 

And where does change begin?

You know it.

The whispering game

It is my belief that we make our own destiny, blessings, coincidence, luck or whatever you choose to call it. We are open to recieve the very moment we start searching for it. You can sometimes precieve it as a chapter, perfectly written just for you. This has been the case as of lately for me. The title of this chapter? Gossip. 

It came to me at work. Someone said something shocking to me about someone else that I never would have guessed and I was at first interested, but refrained from asking anything, just saying "nevermind, let it go". Some started talking badly of someone when they were upset to the point they were painting up a bad picture of this person, which wasn't of course true. This image they were giving was something fuled by their own incapability of actually dealing with the issue. This made me wonder. Are the people here talking about me too? What are they saying?

As these gears were turning I found a poem about gossip in one of my yoga books, then came song after song after song and finally the three monkeys' meditation which was introduced to me at the daoistic yoga class one morning. I think you've seen the monkeys before: One with covered eyes, one with covered ears and one with covered mouth representing see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

Me and two other monkeys!

Anywhere you go you can find gossip. Some find it's fun to talk (because they're bored or boring?) to made verbal charicatures and have a laugh on someone else or spread details that sound like yummy little secrets. Sometimes it's done to intentionally harm others reputation, to bring down, to make someone smaller. Other times it's just "for fun". Even media is all about that trash talk, shaming and connecting the dots completely wrong. 

It's easy to get caught up in the gossip machine and it's fine to talk about others, but chose your words wisely. Everyone remembers the whispering game, right? It teaches us an important lesson already in kindergarden: one says one thing, passes it on and as it moves from mouth to mouth there is always a risk of misinterpretation, exaggeration and sometimes just wild guessing. That's probably how someone in someone could end up a lesbian drug using fart sniffing Jehovas witness and a necrophiliac worshipper of the devil... all at once. WHAT? That's just some things I heard about me once. If people know anything about anything it's that being a Jehovas witness (which my father is, not me) would rule out drug use, homosexuality, any form of worship other than that of the guy in the sky and most definately there would be no necrophiliac business going down. As for fart sniffing... haha you people are gross for just thinking that. What, because my name rhymes with the swedish word for fart? Lovisafisa. Well that's clever and original of you.

We can't stop everyone from talking, that's just what some do. What we can do however is to not help turn the rumor mill by showing ZERO TOLERANCE. Don't shut up or show any signs of agreement, but instead wake them up to the fact that gossip is bad news and something that you're not supporting. Help them realize what they're doing. Real friends appreciate your honesty and you can be yourself around them. Your common interests should be based on other things than downgrading others. If you're afraid they'll start talking about you then that's just a sign they're not true friends, eh? 

Here's things you can say when you end up in a "rumour room":

- What's the purpose of this talk? 

- I'd rather form my own opinion in the matter, thank you very much.

- Why don't you bring it up with the person in question if it's bothering you so much? 

- I would never say anything about someone that I couldn't say to their face.

- Is this true? How do you know it is? Why is this important to you? 

Going back to the three monkeys, seeing, hearing and speaking no evil is not about IGNORING or pretending that there is nothing going on. On the contrary. It's about being aware that there are preconcieved notions, misunderstandings and bad intentions rooted from the seeds of pain, ignorance or fear. It's about being true to yourself, trusting your own ability to decide what's going on, not based on the everyday small talk.

Some songs on the theme for a possible future youtube playlist. 

Son house - Grinnin' in your face
Rudimental - Rumour Mill feat. Anne-Marie & Will Heard

Janelle Monae - Tightrope

Taylor Swift - Shake it off 

What brings you up and out of the mindless talk? Let me know if there are any songs that you would like to see on the list. Cheers!

She's a GOAL DIGGER.

Just like there is a song for everything there is an asana for every occasion. If you really want something you'll find a way. You'll find time. You'll find space.

Wake up. Yoga. Before work. Yoga. Before lunch. Yoga. After work. Yoga. Before dinner. Yoga. You're just in the mood for it. Yoga. Before sleep. Yoga.

I woke up to yoga and I came home to yoga. I will go to sleep with yoga.

The more you practise, the better you get. The better you get the more you'll want to do it. It's a positive upward spiral.

Finally set my yogi goals for the summer.

When this summer is over I will:

-Have integrated yoga into everyday life

-Have chosen yoga path to make my own

-Be able to do a headstand for atleast 10 seconds

-Be able to put my feet behind my ear

-Feel alright with the pigeon pose (eka pada rajakapotasana) 

Right now, apart from posture, I'm mostly focusing on breathing. That's where it all starts. In the breath. 

If you have the opportunity to feel anxious or afraid take a moment to study yourself. Has your breathing strayed? Is it racing away? I know this to be true almost without exception. If I'm stressed the breath is fast and unsteady. This is also a good measurement of your feelings. When you notice your breath is quickening without being physically active or experiencing positive excitement I would like to advise you to check yourself before you wreck yourself (yes, that's an IceCube reference). Where's your thoughts at? Just notice if it's positive or negative thoughts. If it's negative, leave them and focus on the breath. Slow it down. Feel how relaxation enters your body as you breathe in and stress and negativity leaves as you breathe out. By paying attention to your breath you will be able to control your emotions and see the "natural disasters" before they happen so you can hit the breaks. Usually works the other way when we're not aware.

To have a sentance or two as reminders also works well for me. When I get upset I remind myself to take responsibility for my feelings. They're up to me, not anyone else, even though it might seem so at times. 

Another thing to remember is that stress isn't bad. It's actually good for you. It's a built in mechanism to help you be alert and do your best. There's a good ted talk on the subject by psychologist Kelly McGonigal.

Speaking of stress... got up at 3:30 am to prepare for work. I had spoken to the oldest of my sister the day before who said "I bet it's really beautiful outside at that time". Sure, I thought. She was right though. I got to see the sunrise scenery on my way to work. Öland has never in my 25 years been this beautiful. I fell in love with the sky and felt truly blessed for getting this experience. Wahe Guru!

Ps. Didn't take a picture. But imagine an explosion of your favorite colors. Bham! The magic kind of dies when we take a picture. What's that old belief about preserving souls in photographs? Instagram...a graveyard?