Ego - Join the FIGHT CLUB?

There are things that can trigger insecurities within us, be they external or internal. I found myself stumbling, not tripping on my shoe laces this time, but struck to inner grounds by faults. Sometimes we look for excuses as to why we should sink so low beneath us. We ought to stand up for our choices instead even when we have wronged. Accept the trespass. Ok. That's all right, we might be wrong. Our faults are not a part of our identity.

For the most part when we feel sorry or guilty it means that we got a conscience (or it is echoes of a past etched into our behaviour). A healthy conscience a beautiful mechanism to make us aware of the path we want to go and warn us when we start to stray from it. The reminders can be painful, but when you fall you have the chance to get up and do things a little differently. You don't stay down for days, weeks or even longer when you trip in the real world to wallow in pity and curse yourself. That's only what we might do in our heads and hearts from time to time. How strange that would be if our physical self would do exactly the same as our mental self. Just imagine... what kind of fight club scenes would become a regular part of our everyday life?

 No fear. No distractions. The ability 

to let all that which does not matter slide. 

So what am I beating myself up about? To not get into a specific situation, I got a nasty greed in my heart... It eats the good things and it always craves more. The thing about greed is you can never satisfy it. Atleast not for long. My greed likes to win, get attention, own and get the sensation of new materialistic belongings. Greed likes to think it needs to be heard all the time. Greed thinks the universe revolves around it. Greed is childish, irrational and a goddamned baby that will tear down everything to get it's attention and toys. We must recognize that this destructive habit is a monster which we can choose to adopt but we can also choose to feed it or not. It's not a cute pet, actually it's more of a parasite of the mind. Manipulative and dangerous as it can disguise itself in our voice repeating the disempowering mantras I, I, I, I, I, and me, me, me, me, me.

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand;

they listen with the intent to reply." - Stephen R Covey (author)

What to do? 
- Notice when the ego and greed is at work. Study it. Take note of what makes it grow.
- When you know what makes it grow try to strangle the source. Either cut down gradually or it off completely. I find Maun Vrat (see earlier post) to be an efficient way of silencing the ego and land in the moment. Of course it can in our society be hard to engage in complete silence but you can choose to try and only say the absolute necessities for a while.
- Meditate on gratitude and the moment.
- Reconnect with your true self. Now you don't have rush off on a quest to know who you are. If you feel you don't know, just know that you are complete in this moment exactly as you are. The basic things are all you really need. Everything else is excess.
- Step out of the self by listening to your surroundings or by keeping your physical or mental training steadily moving forward.
- Discipline is a great tool for mastering the ego. Moderation, self-control and keeping promises and plans. Be honest when you can't follow through. Keep your goals realistic.
- Try to be as humble as you can by admitting your mistakes, practise acceptance, forgivness but above all love.

A time to contemplate.

Photography by Malin Sandhu.

Stop fighting yourself.
Master your mind and you won't have to smack yourself in the face every time to wake up to the actual situation. It is with a gratitude I receive this lesson, although somewhat resisting it at first. I hope that by sharing this I might help fellow souls on their journey.

I might be a bit quiet for a while now. All the best.

Throw the children into the water!

This said the person who almost drowned:

I WON'T SET A FOOT IN THE  WATER EVER AGAIN UNTIL I HAVE LEARNED 
HOW TO SWIM!   

Sadly this kind of mentality is not a stranger to us and in society today. We expect ourselves to know certain things and when we're told we can't we just won't do it until we can.
How does that even..?
Yes, it makes no sense.

We don't throw little children who don't know how swim into deep waters yet we tend to do that to ourselves expecting great things at areas in which we have poor skills or no practise. When we wish to learn something new we must remember the children and the patience we show them. The small steps we allow them take. The gradual progress. The reward and praise we show them for every little movement forward.

Jake the dog of Adventure Time

Maybe you can remember a moment when patience was shown to you when you was little and new to the world. If you think about it you're still taking steps, but with greater expectations of yourself but also with the freedom of choosing your own path. So if you find you are in the mindset of "I won't until I can" in an area or skill you wish to master just patiently remind yourself that we don't have teleporters yet. You need to take those steps to get there. Make sure to see your own greatness and reward yourself for it.

How do you treat your friends when you know they are trying? Strangers who are newbies? Are you as harsh to them as you are to yourself? Why don't you cheer for yourself? How do you REWARD YOURSELF? If you don't have an answer for the last question it's time you start thinking about the things you want. The things you like. The things that make you feel good. So you can celebrate your own goodness.
The goodness is strong with This One.

The whispering game

It is my belief that we make our own destiny, blessings, coincidence, luck or whatever you choose to call it. We are open to recieve the very moment we start searching for it. You can sometimes precieve it as a chapter, perfectly written just for you. This has been the case as of lately for me. The title of this chapter? Gossip. 

It came to me at work. Someone said something shocking to me about someone else that I never would have guessed and I was at first interested, but refrained from asking anything, just saying "nevermind, let it go". Some started talking badly of someone when they were upset to the point they were painting up a bad picture of this person, which wasn't of course true. This image they were giving was something fuled by their own incapability of actually dealing with the issue. This made me wonder. Are the people here talking about me too? What are they saying?

As these gears were turning I found a poem about gossip in one of my yoga books, then came song after song after song and finally the three monkeys' meditation which was introduced to me at the daoistic yoga class one morning. I think you've seen the monkeys before: One with covered eyes, one with covered ears and one with covered mouth representing see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

Me and two other monkeys!

Anywhere you go you can find gossip. Some find it's fun to talk (because they're bored or boring?) to made verbal charicatures and have a laugh on someone else or spread details that sound like yummy little secrets. Sometimes it's done to intentionally harm others reputation, to bring down, to make someone smaller. Other times it's just "for fun". Even media is all about that trash talk, shaming and connecting the dots completely wrong. 

It's easy to get caught up in the gossip machine and it's fine to talk about others, but chose your words wisely. Everyone remembers the whispering game, right? It teaches us an important lesson already in kindergarden: one says one thing, passes it on and as it moves from mouth to mouth there is always a risk of misinterpretation, exaggeration and sometimes just wild guessing. That's probably how someone in someone could end up a lesbian drug using fart sniffing Jehovas witness and a necrophiliac worshipper of the devil... all at once. WHAT? That's just some things I heard about me once. If people know anything about anything it's that being a Jehovas witness (which my father is, not me) would rule out drug use, homosexuality, any form of worship other than that of the guy in the sky and most definately there would be no necrophiliac business going down. As for fart sniffing... haha you people are gross for just thinking that. What, because my name rhymes with the swedish word for fart? Lovisafisa. Well that's clever and original of you.

We can't stop everyone from talking, that's just what some do. What we can do however is to not help turn the rumor mill by showing ZERO TOLERANCE. Don't shut up or show any signs of agreement, but instead wake them up to the fact that gossip is bad news and something that you're not supporting. Help them realize what they're doing. Real friends appreciate your honesty and you can be yourself around them. Your common interests should be based on other things than downgrading others. If you're afraid they'll start talking about you then that's just a sign they're not true friends, eh? 

Here's things you can say when you end up in a "rumour room":

- What's the purpose of this talk? 

- I'd rather form my own opinion in the matter, thank you very much.

- Why don't you bring it up with the person in question if it's bothering you so much? 

- I would never say anything about someone that I couldn't say to their face.

- Is this true? How do you know it is? Why is this important to you? 

Going back to the three monkeys, seeing, hearing and speaking no evil is not about IGNORING or pretending that there is nothing going on. On the contrary. It's about being aware that there are preconcieved notions, misunderstandings and bad intentions rooted from the seeds of pain, ignorance or fear. It's about being true to yourself, trusting your own ability to decide what's going on, not based on the everyday small talk.

Some songs on the theme for a possible future youtube playlist. 

Son house - Grinnin' in your face
Rudimental - Rumour Mill feat. Anne-Marie & Will Heard

Janelle Monae - Tightrope

Taylor Swift - Shake it off 

What brings you up and out of the mindless talk? Let me know if there are any songs that you would like to see on the list. Cheers!

It's comic, but not haha funny.

Vanity is certainly not a new thing, but with social media, selfies and the chronic show off syndrome (even in the yogic field) I sometimes feel great concern for future generations and how they look upon themselves. 

It's kind of creepy. 

The picture? How we behave? 

I leave it up to you to decide. 

This well articulated illustration from Johanna Rubin Dranger's comic Miss Remarkable and her career (original title: Fröken Märkvärdig och Karriären, 2010) demonstrates a real issue we're facing here, in double sense. It's comic, but not haha funny. We've become brilliant multitaskers, kind of watching ourselves in all we do, not truly experiencing, not really there. We're only getting a close up of ourselves as we think about what other's think or what we think they're thinking. They're probably not even thinking about you. They're most likely thinking that you're thinking something about them. I do this sometimes too and can assure you that this behavior gives a very one sided, incomplete picture of ourselves and reality. 

Can't we find and eliminate the root of the problems instead getting caught in an endless treating of symptoms? Most of the things that we're trying to not even remove but smooth out are emotional issues, physical pain, appearance related issues... all of which commonly can be traced back to the stress that we're under, which often is of a vain character. Even on holiday. Look your best. Beach 2015. Show off the coolest things you've done, the nicest things you've bought. The expensive food and drinks. Wow! WOW! Look at you! 

Remind yourself that what you see around you is manmade. It's great magic tricks to make you doubt yourself and believe in their spells. You don't need anything of it. You need only remind yourself of what's really important. Remind yourself why you're doing things. If you're not liking your reasons... change them or what you do! It's up to you to actually live the life you want, not just looking like you live the life you think others want.

Ma souer et une petite siréne!

J'ai une petite siréne... Merci, m'amie! Elle est arrivée aujourd'hui avec la poste ... avec un Carambar bonbon et une blague! 

Comment appelle-t-on une panthère qui part trop vite? 

Réponse: Un faux guépard.

Looking forward to writing back and practicing my french once again as soon as I've found something stereotypical enough to send! 

Happy news is that I'm slowly easing out of the stiffness and moving toward my "regular" yogi practice, but hopefully with a more aware and caring attitude toward the body this time. What else is happy happy happy is that very soon I'm meeting my eldest sister who I haven't seen for... a year? Gosh, it feels much longer! This means there will be no posts for some time as we will be busy catching up and defining strange... it's a Sandhu thing! What happens is that when we sisters meet it's like an explosion of creativity and energy. We really bring out the best and sometimes the not as pleasant in eachother. We're just that open with eachother that we're more colorful and sensitive than usual. Someone usually ends up hurt or simply drained. 

My challenge in this is to try and harness the energy and inspiration into something constructive. To remain aware. Accepting my role as the little sister and still staying true to myself with feet firmly on the ground. It's easy to fall back into old patterns when you're taking a trip down memory lane. 

C'est tout. A bientôt mis amis!

HEALTHY HAPPY HOLY

If everything happens for a reason then this time is a reminder for me not to get too eager in my practice. To stay aware. To pay attention to the body. To build a strong connection between it and the mind. Yoga with Adrienne's "yoga for when you are sick" is all that I've been able to do now for three days. It's good though. Without it I don't think I would have been able to get up at 3am and work for 11 hours. I was reading up on the types of yoga and found restorative yoga. Thinking that could be an option for the moment.

 What is restorative yoga? 
You use props like pillows, blankets and blocks to allow the body to completely relax and rest into the positions. It's meditative and of course restorative. No effort. No stress. Just allow yourself to breathe and be. Found a good example to try today after work. Yes, sorry it's in Swedish, but the pictures are universal. Yoga för dig - Restorative yoga med Sofia Norén

When one is sick we tend to get stuck in a mindset that is like a broken radio playing only songs about sickness. It's easy to focus on how bad it feels and how limited it makes you. It's destructive and can even make the sickness linger or worsen. Because the body listens to the feeling and the feeling depends upon your thoughts. So if you focus on the parts of your body that are good. If you focus on getting better then recovery will be faster.

 Affirmations 
I saw Dr. Masaru Emoto's water molecule experiments which were mentioned in the film "What the bleep do we know?" (2004). I think it's an excellent inspiration for us to use affirmations. To understand that we have power to affect ourselves and others. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term "affirmation" it is positive words or sentances in present form what contain no nos, don'ts and nevers which we repeat to ourselves, sort of like mantras, to get into the mindset of what we want or where want to be. It's also the title of a song by Savage Garden, which I'm not refering to in this case, despite the catchiness. Here's some affirmations and mantras that the world has brought me to get better the last few days. Now I'm passing them on to you.

Raa Maa Daa Saa 
Saa Say So Hung
Sit in easy pose (legs crossed) with your elbows gentlyresting at the sides of your ribcage lifting your hands up at a 45 degree angle with palms flat and facing the sky. Ready to recieve. Breath in deeply and slowly and as you exhale chant the words above all in one breath. Chant powefully from the navel area for 11 minutes. To learn about the musical notes etc. here's a more detailed description of how to chant it. The meaning is:
Raa - Sun 
Maa - Moon  
Daa - Earth (reciever of totality)
Saa - Totality
Say - Spirit, energy
So - Manifestation
Hung - Experience of thou

Find what feels good
This is something I picked up from Adrienne. Whenever you're practicing yoga or doing anything physical, instead of complaining or struggling remind yourself to find what feels good. Adjust it. Change it. Rock into it. Swing into it. Lean into it. Gently roll into it. Breathe into it. Repeat until you find the way that works for you, paying special attention to what your body says. When you fint it, stay there for a bit and enjoy.

Healthy am I
Happy am I
Holy am I
Breathe in slowly and deeply and as you breath out chant the words above. Chant out loud for one minute, silently for a few minutes and then bring it with you the rest of the day. Whenever you catch yourself thinking a negative or destructive thought just patiently remind yourself of your healthiness, happiness and holiness.

The three lessons.

I went to two very different classes yesterday: Yin yoga in the morning at Drottning Victorias Vilohem in Borgholm and then Global yoga at Namayoga in Kalmar.

 What's Yin yoga? 
Yin means heaven or a force of expansion. A type of yoga based on the old Chinese Tao yoga. Through this yoga you work with your flexibility and endurance. You hold the asanas and for a few minutes as you focus on the breath, moving more and more into the position as you breathe out. The yin yoga puts emphasis on activating hips, pelvis and lower part of your spine. It's soft and meditative. You really listen to your body as you stretch.
The class I went to was short (ca 45 minutes) small and cozy. It doesn't feel like a workout, more like meditation in which the body sometimes gets involved. Nurturing and caring. The good thing about breakfast yoga was that us participants could stay in the mindset and discuss together after the class rather then rushing off into the rest of the day. I even stayed longer to reflect alone over a cup of tea, waiting out the summer rain.

 What's Global yoga? 
East meets West in a pretty new type of yoga by Swedish founder Johanna Andersson. What signifies this style is that it's a faster playful and energetic mix of different types of yoga from many of the corners of our globe, but it's made for the fast paced urban humans of our time in a society where the body doesn't move around as much as the brain does. So it's a lot of physical exercise intertwined with stillness of the mind. Every class has an "intention" - a message to reflect upon. You can also have a free intention which is you pay extra attention to something, like focussing on healing or bringing energy to a certain part of your body or soul. Here's global yoga's manifesto:

Yesterday's intention was 

"Have faith that everything you need will come to you." 

I've been to global yoga before at Ananda yoga studio. This time it was different. Since I still have some kind of infection I was sweating furiously and experiencing a major "setback". It was a 75 minute session, noone was a beginner and we were about 8 participants. Since it was the first time I was with a friend at yoga class I think my showoff side woke up and even though I heard my body saying no I didn't always listen. So today my knees are barely good for walking and I'm feverish and cold. At first it made me angry having to "surrender" to my physical limitations but I realized this was the third lesson of the day. One which I will never forget. An important lesson that I had to learn. The suffering is mostly of my own making for I wasn't humble enough to accept it yesterday. If it's a lesson you're ignoring the test will come to you over and over until you pass. 

Thank you dear body for your patience with me when I'm a stubborn child. I'm sorry I didn't listen. I'm sorry I hurt you. Thank you for teaching me to be humble. It was much needed. 

In our family it seems we're really good at getting passionate about things, always up to something, getting involved to the point where the rest of the world is seemingly forgotten. This is sometimes said to be characteristics of an artist which of course I was proud to have. We do need to get better at simply being without analyzing or thinking "what can I make out of this?" without wanting. Without judging. Without doing. Only breathing and accepting

this is me now

this is now

this is

it is

Sick and yoga?

- Morning -

I was stiff yesterday so I was a bit careful with the yoga, but I still did it because I thought it would help me loosen up. When I woke up this morning it was even harder to move. The head heavy and hurting. The nose basically closed off despite the season. Tired even though I slept well.

Most definately dealing with a case of the common cold here. 

So, can you still yoga while you have a cold? 
Note that although I have an interest in yoga and health I am not an expert of any sort.
If you're really sick you should always consult a physician.

First off listen to your body. When you're sick it makes the rules. You need your body get where you want to be, do what you want to do and experience the world. When you're sick your body needs you. Appreciate it. Respect it. Take care of it.

If you feel you are able to yoga then you can, but very very gently. Start off in short sequences with simple asanas and gradually (within a few days...don't pressure yourself, it can take longer) get back into it. It's best to avoid any upside down poses like the plow and headstands... even savasana should in some cases be avoided. There are some standing up or sitting down asanas that are really good for the occasion. 

If you don't feel like you can practise yoga then just take care of yourself.

Honestly I don't dare to try the luck before work, in case I'd be feeling worse. I'm just going to drink ginger, get a bit of sunlight if I can find it and have large quantities of water. When you have a cold, don't forget to keep it cool, no stress.

This is an excellent time for reading, catching up on theoretical practise (if your head agrees) and for me it's also a time of learning to accept. I usually have a hard time accepting that I'm not invincible all the time. The only super hero I can be today is super chill. Don't push it and don't feel bad for having to take a step back.

Here's some more upon the subject:

Yoga Journals article "Tips for practicing yoga while sick"
Yoga with Adrienne's video "Yoga for when you are sick" (20 minutes, calm session)

Brett Larkin's video on "Yoga for sickness" (30 minutes, more movements)

Elephant journal's article"Should we practice yoga when we're sick?"

- Evening -

I managed yoga with Adrienne (and the downward dog without any discomfort)! Feeling slightly better, but we'll see about the mornings. Booked for 7:30am breakfast yoga and then 6:00pm global yoga class. Inbetween there will be math, master chef ingeniousness and feeling good.
Golden milk and Murakami. Sweet. Dreams.

Oh snap! What was that?

Reading up on unintentionally cracking joints. It's been happening quite a lot lately.

What I know so far is that it's debated wether it is good for you or bad for you to crack joints, and it hasn't got too much proof on either side. What I hear a lot of yogis saying is that it's natural, and it's no harm in unintentionally doing so. If you experience pain or swelling then that's of course no good.

Two hours of yoga today! Got up at 2:45 to have time before work. Then came home and had chillout yoga and meditation in the garden. Progress on the cow face (connecting hands behind back like mentioned in post "The good, the bad and the patience.") and overall keeping in touch with the body and present moment. Discipline is better than ever, although I want to cut down on my blog writing time. I told myself I'd be finished... 45 minutes ago.

Going to bed soon because tomorrow will be sort of the same procedure of yoga, work yoga, but harder more stressful work since the guests are leaving the hotel. Best be prepared.

Celebrate everyday through balanced living. No hangovers, no emotional rollercoasters... all the time you make the mostest. Haha, can you tell I'm tired? AAAAAND I'M GONE.

The lost sparks.

The conversations I have with my oldest sister. They're incredibly inspiring but at times tough. She always seems to say what I need to hear. The resistance I feel usually means that there's some truth in the remark. At times the sudden bright light can hurt the eyes, but eventually they adjust.

We have been discussing gender a lot. It's a topic that really gets me fired up at times. Heart pounding anger, bitterness and sadness for the injustice that is and has been. Thankfully meditation and yoga helps me to step away and view it from some distance. I think some of my bitterness is my own creation. The belief that I somehow would be limited by what society identifies me as. We created society, who should have the power but us? I am part of the society. I am one of the labellers. The more I open up to the fact that everything has more than one side and more than one truth the less limited I feel. The sex doesn't matter. The skin doesn't matter. The length or width of our bodies don't matter. The symmetry of your face is no matter.

What matters is ignorance. The knowledge that's somehow lost because of faulty education. The traditional echoes of the past are there most of the time not because people are idiots or intentionally mean, but because they just don't know better. We might think the teachers are our teachers but truth is we learn from the ones who raise us and we inherit their thoughts and beliefs to a large extent. We can change our minds, but not without first being aware of our "recorded" messages, that we're just repeating. We need to separate our own thoughts from things we've just picked up from others. We're often thinking of humans as intellectual. Sometimes I think that's our greatest flaw because it even makes us stupid as we tend to complicate things for ourselves.

What really matters is that we're not happy. Sometimes because we're victimizing ourselves and others. We're trying to change "us" or "them" with force instead of understanding and accepting. I'd like to simply emphasise our need to wake up and see the real issues. Don't get me wrong, I still want to fight the injustice and I still want equality, but I don't feel it's doing anyone good to be in constant fight mode. Sure it's energizing sometimes to just pour out your oh so important opinion but carrying anger is harmful in the long run. I'm asking myself what good has the rage brought onto the face of feminism? Don't waste your breath on angry monolgues for closed minds and ears. Pick your fights. Pick the ones that truly matter. If you feel that something is missing then find it! Something I missed in my childhood was a hero. Someone who I could look up to. I didn't think there was any woman out there to inspire me to greatness beyond appearance. I was too focussed on how little women were mentioned in history to see the ones that actually stood out despite everything. Now that my eyes are searching they seem to be everywhere. They're brilliant and they're filling me with hope... For the future generations. Not because women and men will be equal, but because they already are and we still have the chance to understand it. To lay down our swords and embrace eachother as the same. We're all from the same place and heading the same direction.

One of my greatest teachers, whom I've for a long time not accepted as a teacher (here it goes with the resistance again...) taught me my greatest lesson so far. We are creators. Of ourselves, our reality and the ripples of the universe around us. Even though little grains of sand can make rings on the surface we need to look beyond it. Beyond the labels. Beyond what eyes can see.

I saw a photo from a time where I was not yet on this earth. You both had a spark in your eyes. I saw another photo where I was in the picture and your spark was nolonger there. At first it made me sad, but now I'd like to think it wasn't lost. I'd like to think that me and my sisters are the same sparks in physical form. Born into this world from love, from passion and from the ultimate power of creativity. It is my honor to be a spark.  

Stages of silence - Maun Vrat.

On a day off I highly recommend you to engage in silence. 

I've done this a few times now and it's an important experience. The thing with choosing silence is that you practise your discipline, your focus, listening and acceptance, as well as non verbal communication skills. I noticed there are a few stages I usually go through when I go into silence, of course it depends on circumstances and objectives. I often engage in silence when I feel I've accumulated too much negativity to the point it's is spilling out my mouth. To avoid a domino effect of bad vibes and to instead regain control I simply shut up, without shutting myself in. Even though this is a good method of self reflection I recommend one to focus on the surrounding, being present and trying to experience things as they are. 

It's important that you if you live with someone let them know before you engage in silence. You don't need a fancy explanation. Wanting to try something is a valid reason. 

I live with my father and he was often annoyed in the beginning (and after a few days he got used to it and was almost disappointed when I started talking again haha!) At first he would ask questions frequently expecting a immediate response. 

The cool thing about being in a conversation when not verbally communicating is that you will listen more, because you're not focussing on your turn to speak. This might engage the person you're "talking to" to actually open up more. Some of my dad's best stories have been told when I was in silence. Last time he told me

"You know... the gurus and sadhus also go into silence, it is an old technique. Their followers explain to others that come to see the guru that the guru is in Maun Vrat, in silence. So the visitors still come to ask their questions and they will find their answers even though the guru never said a word."

I'm no guru, but I believe there is one in all of us. I also believe in the silence as a method for discovery within and without ourselves. Upon my last time of silence the stages I went through were something like this: 

Frustration:

- I have something I want to say!

- It's important!

- I don't know how to answer that without words

- I want to interrupt you

- I don't agree because... ARGH I can't say that without words!

- I just thought of something I think you would like to hear

- Look at me, my eyes want to say something! 

You're totally at the mercy of the other one when you're communicating with your eyes and gestures, if it's not physical you need them to look. They will not always look when you "need" them to, meaning they are to a large extent deciding when it's your turn to speak. 

Restlessness:

- So...what to do when we don't talk?

- I want to sing

- I want to vent (this is usually code for complaining)

- Do I have to listen to this?

Adjusting:

- Ok, so I don't talk. 

This is when thoughts begin to calm down. 

Changing pace of thinking and the senseless ranting will quiet down.

Changing communication method exaggerating non verbal expressions.

Engaging in the conversation in a simplified way. This rules out nagging, the unimportant bits because who wants to small talk when it's a hassle just being understood? 

Listening more (and noticing more of the other one's non verbal communication)

Long or short silence. It usually happens when the other one's done talking (even the most talkative person will quiet sometime) and we're not filling in with most likely our own opinion or a repetition of what the other one's said in other words... or subject change... which in Sweden eventually ends up in a weather forecast. There will be more silence when you're not talking.

Reflection: 

-I know I can't say what I'm thinking, but what would I say if I could?

-How would the other one react? Can I say it in a better way?

-Why do I feel the need to say it?

-Is it important?

Here's where you start to change your automatic responses, because you will not have an immediate reaction anymore. 

Gratitude:

Enjoying the conversation more.

Enjoying the silence more.

The most important things can be said without words.

Looking forward to when you can speak again. 

Hopefully more aware of how powerful and beautiful words are. 

They're a gift that we're constantly giving and recieving.

This happened on an afternoon. It's good to stay in silence for a longer time to really clear your head. Beware of cutting yourself off from the world or getting stuck in negative thought. The best way to do this is to be as present as possible, enjoying the sensations of the body and surroundings. This time I had focus on my breath and the feeling of my feet. I've done up to about four days with different stages and results, 

but always ended up in gratitude.

Look again. See the bird? Would you have seen it if I hadn't said it?

The full breath

We come with a lot of built in mechanisms. One of them is the breath. Our lives are depending on it. We're born with the breath and we will surely depart together with it. We think we know what we're doing but most of us are actually taking shallow breaths, only using the very top of our lungs. This results in quick breathing, less emotional and physical resilience and not getting as much air as we actually could... and should! By using the full potential of our breath we get more oxygen, better blood circulation, immune system and we also become more present. Our mind follows our breath and our body follows our mind.

Why should we breathe through the nose? As he air goes through the nasal passage the temperature and moisture of the air is adjusted to suit our bodies. When you breathe through the mouth it doesn't have a filter like the nose so we're exposed to more bacteria and the mouth becomes dry with an increased bad breath, risk of cavities and gum disease. It is also not possible to breathe as slow and take up the oxygen properly when using the mouth.

So we can reduce stress and boost energy instantly by just adding awareness into what we're already doing? You don't need to sit in a lotus with your hands in mudras (certain powerful hand gestures) and focus on the third eye, but if you can you're welcome to. What you really need is just a moment and focus. Do you want to enhance yourself? The breath is up to you!

She's a GOAL DIGGER.

Just like there is a song for everything there is an asana for every occasion. If you really want something you'll find a way. You'll find time. You'll find space.

Wake up. Yoga. Before work. Yoga. Before lunch. Yoga. After work. Yoga. Before dinner. Yoga. You're just in the mood for it. Yoga. Before sleep. Yoga.

I woke up to yoga and I came home to yoga. I will go to sleep with yoga.

The more you practise, the better you get. The better you get the more you'll want to do it. It's a positive upward spiral.

Finally set my yogi goals for the summer.

When this summer is over I will:

-Have integrated yoga into everyday life

-Have chosen yoga path to make my own

-Be able to do a headstand for atleast 10 seconds

-Be able to put my feet behind my ear

-Feel alright with the pigeon pose (eka pada rajakapotasana) 

Right now, apart from posture, I'm mostly focusing on breathing. That's where it all starts. In the breath. 

If you have the opportunity to feel anxious or afraid take a moment to study yourself. Has your breathing strayed? Is it racing away? I know this to be true almost without exception. If I'm stressed the breath is fast and unsteady. This is also a good measurement of your feelings. When you notice your breath is quickening without being physically active or experiencing positive excitement I would like to advise you to check yourself before you wreck yourself (yes, that's an IceCube reference). Where's your thoughts at? Just notice if it's positive or negative thoughts. If it's negative, leave them and focus on the breath. Slow it down. Feel how relaxation enters your body as you breathe in and stress and negativity leaves as you breathe out. By paying attention to your breath you will be able to control your emotions and see the "natural disasters" before they happen so you can hit the breaks. Usually works the other way when we're not aware.

To have a sentance or two as reminders also works well for me. When I get upset I remind myself to take responsibility for my feelings. They're up to me, not anyone else, even though it might seem so at times. 

Another thing to remember is that stress isn't bad. It's actually good for you. It's a built in mechanism to help you be alert and do your best. There's a good ted talk on the subject by psychologist Kelly McGonigal.

Speaking of stress... got up at 3:30 am to prepare for work. I had spoken to the oldest of my sister the day before who said "I bet it's really beautiful outside at that time". Sure, I thought. She was right though. I got to see the sunrise scenery on my way to work. Öland has never in my 25 years been this beautiful. I fell in love with the sky and felt truly blessed for getting this experience. Wahe Guru!

Ps. Didn't take a picture. But imagine an explosion of your favorite colors. Bham! The magic kind of dies when we take a picture. What's that old belief about preserving souls in photographs? Instagram...a graveyard?