"...when I talk about running."

A good 15 minutes ago I closed Haruki Murakami's "What I talking about when I talking about running." I made it to the other side. Even if it is a good book I always feel kind of relieved that it's over and if it's a really good book there is a sadness, as if someone dear to me would have left this world. Right now I'm in a subtle grief. 

Balance and discipline

Actually I wasn't at all interested in running, and if it wasn't Mr Murakami that had written it, then I don't think I would ever end up reading about running. To be honest it wasn't an amazing book, but what was amazing was this little man who had a jazz bar and sold it to start writing books and train hard for marathons, despite most of his surroundings telling him not to. Mr Murakami goes his own way. His discipline is admirable and I feel inspired to, although with a more gentle approach, try to find balance between my creativity and my yogic training. 

This is the second book I read by Haruki Murakami. Previous was "Kafka on the shore" and it was pretty interesting. Strange but full of inspiration and beautiful almost movie scenes.

Perfect alignment

This is also the second book I read in my life that seems to just be perfectly aligned with my universe and where I am at the time.

It could be little things like he's writing about the falling rain and how good things can come from it, where I would look out and think to myself... Ah, well that's true. If It wasn't for the rain then I wouldn't be sitting here right now, reading that line... or another time when he mentioned running girls with their ipods on, earplugs in and ponytails swaying from side to side as the come trotting down the street, and shortly after... there they were!

Sometimes it would be just the right sentances for the moment. A paragraph that not only longed to be quoted, but also seemed to fall into place the topics that had been floating around in my mind. If it would have been a game of "memory" then the game would be over quickly.

Then there was the thing about the knees. And this really puzzles me. 

For those of you who haven't read my previous posts I've been a bit stiff, since I got a cold. Especially feeling limitations in the knees. Then I went to yoga class. The knees got worse. So since I can't practice, I read instead. Which led to me stumbling upon a chapter where he's really down. Everything's seemingly stuck or going backwards... and what should be his biggest problem at that moment? Of course... the knees. In particular the right one. What are the odds?

Quotes

At times the book has a soundtrack, which is one of the things I loved with "Kafka on the shore" as well. It is also very quotable. I folded some pages, sometimes forgetting that it's a library book. I've narrowed it down to just a few that feel right for the moment (please take note that this is a book originally written in Japanese, translated to Swedish and now I'm trying to get it right in english...)

"It is said that physical pain is the basic condition for to truly understand things."

"The wall dividing a healthy self-confidence and unhealthy boldness is very thin."

"... there are few arguments for me to continue running the way I am, but far more than a truck load against it. The only thing I can do is to continue to carefully polish those arguments for it. As soon as I have a moment to spare, I diligently polish them one by one without missing anything." 

Live like you learn

It had been a while since I was last faced with a design related task. Design has always been like lover to me. The incredible passion that fills you with fun ideas and you just want to spend time together. Unfortunately we've kind of lost echother. It had become too destructive. I was giving, but not getting anything back, or rather, giving all I got to the point there was none of me left for me. Then yesterday we met again through the design application for Broby Grafiska which was due today. At once I remembered why I fell for design and why we fell apart. When you get stuck in a destructive relationship there are three different ways you can go:

1. You can go down with the ship.

2. You can leave the ship and either swim for your life or hold onto something else as you watch it sink before your eyes.

3. You can row it ashore and make it better then try again.

And if you can't decide which way to go 

then you can always go for the classic rock, paper, scissors....

(this picture is a detail from the application)

Since I've put a lot of work into this design passion, I'm not willing to let her sink. I'll have the number 3, please!

Since stress is commonly based on our way of handling different situations (or rather failing to do so) I assume I need to change my relationship toward design. If I look at what happens with me when I work with design it's pretty much the opposite of the outcome of yoga. The breath quickens and becomes shallow as if I had ran a marathon, the posture becomes slouchy and hopeless or locked into unnatural unbalanced tense positions for a long time. The perspective tends to change aswell. My own value goes down as the urgency to accomplish greatness goes up. This makes it easy to forget or ignore oneself and ones needs. You "don't have time" for breaks, although deep down you know you work better if you take them. 

The common denominators that can be found in yoga and working with design are that they are both about finding focus to be able to reflect, create, develop and perfect. To reach a higher place. Exceed imagination. Yet, the result for me are worlds apart, atleast when it comes to wellness.

The universe has it's way of bringing us exactly what we need. Although I managed the assignment I still failed myself. Just barely making the deadline, stressed, hungry, worn and still not satisfied with my performance. There were three ways I could look upon it. The same as above. So I decided to row it ashore and make it better... Remember how I said I wish I could bring what I feel on the yoga mat with me as I do other things? Here's some of the best of yoga that I wish to apply on my relationship to the design process:

THE MINDSET - EVERYTHING IS TRAINING

In yoga you're not demanding immediate perfection. Partially because you know it can always get better and because you know you're just a student in training. With this attitude you can be more patient with yourself and give it more time to strive upwards. You'll feel satisfied knowing that you're just doing you're best. 

THE STRATEGY - WISE TIME USE

Yoga is practised in sessions, gradually and smoothly working to reach your goal. The practise is daily and vary from being short reminders of mindfulness to one hour or longer sessions. Limiting your focus time ensures that you're not wearing yourself out, even though you take the time to challenge yourself. 

ONE MORE THING: DO WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU DO IT

This is kind of a mantra for me. Yoga when you yoga. Find your space, piece of mind. Quiet as possible, or with music if it helps you relax. Everything I do on the yoga mat is yoga or meditation related. Prioritize yoga. No multitasking. No procrastination. No distractions. No excuses. 

The outcome of working with design related tasks, even though I love it, is so different because I've been doing the opposite. It will take a lot of practise. I've spent many hours building these destructive tendencies. You must know it is not a part of you. If you're aware you will notice the roots of your behaviour before you trip on them.