Welcome the new - TRUE!

2017 is over and so is the December Yoga with Adriene challenge as I mentioned in an earlier post.

I did my best and got down (dog) and freaky yogi almost every day. Some days I didn’t find the time and also I lost a few days being ill. Those days are great opportunity for just letting your soul catch up (love this expression, thanks Annica!) and get some XP on meditation practice. I absolutely enjoyed this time and I can feel the benefits of the daily practice.
If you missed it here's a bit of a flashback for you!

So happy to hear from the friends that joined and followed the journey! No crying cuz it's over though, there's a new challenge coming up! Come with me and Adriene on the TRUE journey now in January. I won't document it as fanatically as LIGHT but there will be yoga every day!

 

Here's the calendar for TRUE

Playlist 
Here's the link to the youtube playlist

Practice times
Here's the link to the practice times for the challenge

Today is officially the second day of TRUE and the word of the day is MOTIVE. But anyone can join in at any time. That's the beauty of home practice.

See you on the mat! Love out and peace in <3 
 

Constructive feedback

So as some of you have seen I've made a digital 2d portrait study.

This is the second one. The first one I didn't even finish.

Often it takes more time to repair flaws in an artwork than just simply start over. And when it comes to learning it's more about quantity than quality although you have to be present so you don't fall into your drawing comfortzone and just mindlessly produce thinking that you know things. I used to think that I know things and that's one of the greatest enemies of my learning.

If you get constructive feedback that's awesome! Don't apologize. Don't defend yourself or your work. It's not a part of you, only your process. I asked my boyfriend who also is an artist for feedback and in the beginning it really really sucked to not get your ego stroked the right way. I would listen, but still do it my way. Then I was like "fine, I'll try your way then!" and the results were immediate. And that's the beauty of letting go and opening up to feedback. You get better at recieving it, giving it and it supports your process. So thanks Mike for all your support! <3

So what did I do differently this time?
I got a great deal of constructive feedback on this one, even some after I said "now this is done. And no matter what done means all edits are strictly forbidden". 
I used a grid to make sure everything was at the right place already from the start. Then I had a little practice of the process as well as very basic shading from the previous study. These things helped a lot. Another thing which I highly recommend is to from time to time flip the canvas so that your drawing and reference image both become reflected.

What will I do different for the next portrait?
Well as you can see from above I didn't have a very good approach to the hair, neither did I have the patience. So for the next one I will approach it with some of the tips and process from Proko's tutorial on "How to draw hair".

Feedback does not only come in verbal form. This weekend was tough for me. I got quite ill and I don't know about you but I usually feel down when I'm reaching physical limits. But I guess I can look at it as my body is giving me feedback, telling me to chill out ffs! I'm still up for the YWA christmas calendar challenge although it's at a halt at the moment since my cold got worse when I kept pressing on. So that's why I made a bed yoga playlist called "YOGA FOR BED-err DAYS". For anyone who wants to yoga but is sick, down or just feeling like a hybernating little yogi.
Take care of yourself my friend!

Countdown!

Haven't been updating in what seems like forever! Hope life finds you well. I want to invite you to join me on a challenge! A yoga challenge with Adriene. This is a great way to make yoga one of your daily habits, have fun and countdown to Christmas. You can find all the videos on Adrienes Youtube channel, except for the new ones that will be coming every Monday in December. This is honestly more exciting than chocolate calendar (but you can have chocolate too if you want)...
Here's the calendar but you can of course find it and more on her website...

Also keep your eyes peeled for I'm the guest on my friends Youtube channel, the honest student, talking about friendship! That's it for now. Hope you will join on the challenge, but either way have a good one!

If you get reversed king Midas touch

What do we do when we feel that we're not living up to expectations?
I have to admit that I little while ago found myself back in the bottomless pit of unreasonably high expectations. It is a place where you might think high expectations would result in perfection. Alas, I find that it is much more like a reversed King Midas touch. No gold. Just crap. It is a place of little or no logic.

 

How do we make sense of it? Well first of all when we find ourselves there we must know that we usually are going about things all wrong. Take a step back and ask yourself:

• In the best of worlds what would I have done? What would the ultimate version of you have done? Then do that next time, or at least take a step in that general direction. 
• How can I make things easier? It is easy to get into negative self talk when experiencing that things aren't going as planned. When you find that happening stop it immediately. And don't blame yourself. Remind yourself as often as you can to be kind until it comes naturally. 
• Will this matter tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year? In ten years? Whatever it was it is surely not the end of the world. Honestly it does not serve anyone to worry. It might be helpful to put a restraint to either "ok I will think about this for 5 minutes" or I have thought about this three times, that is enough.
• "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" Our body and mind needs care. When we're stressed and feel we have much to do we might put or needs aside for this oh so important thing. That's a warning sign. Here we must practise restraint, responsibility and above all respect for ourselves. And if you find that warning is coming up often then maybe you need to reevaluate what you're juggling or re-plan your routines.
• Get your mind to a positive place by guided meditation or inspirational talks. It doesn't have to be for a long time. Even a few minutes or a moment can do the trick sometimes.

You can do anything you want.

But you cannot do everything at once.

The worldwide multi-tasking efficiency illusion madness must come to an end. 

And where does change begin?

You know it.

THE COLLECTORS DILEMMA

Do you collect something?
I have since I was small collected a large variety of things. Shells, broken glass that have been polished and washed ashore by waves, cute but unusable erasers, decorations that look like frogs, buttons and vintage dresses. My latest collection was everything that is mint green, polaroid pictures, books and things given to me by people that matter in my life. The collecting even stretches far into the digital world. You could call me a digital hoarder. Something that I’m far from alone to be.

Double exposure polaroid 

trying to seize a moment in Malta

A pinterest overflowing with boards, a Spotify filled with playlists for a wide spectrum of emotions and genres, information heavy clouds and drives… it could be the proof of characters who love to collect and share inspiration, but maybe also characters who are afraid of letting go…

The fear of forgetting. Or being forgotten. Because how often do we not collect things that we do not use? Things that slip our own memory. Or even worse, things that we intend to use but deep down inside know will become only a burden to organise and store.

As I was reading the yoga book Närmre något (2016) by Simon Krohn I came upon a lesson which I most likely already was aware of, yet it always seems to be another thing when someone tells you something than when you tell yourself something even though you might be saying exactly the same thing. Anyway, this is what I understood:

When we collect we are not present. Because when we are collecting we are trying to hold onto the present and thus we lose it. To capture the moment through the camera of a lens is impossible. To grasp it through writing will always result in being one step behind or ahead (yes, there is some undeniable irony in writing about this). Just thinking about it separates you from the moment. It can be both at once liberating and frustrating.

Understanding this can help you let go. Because all of your fantastic and sentimental moments are not within any material possession. They might seem like they are there, but your possessions can only possess the ability to bring up memories of moments lived or the desired ones to come.

In a world that constantly tempts us with a promise to save and store memories in ever more revolutionary ways it’s easy to get caught up in it. 

You can get two for the price of one. One in each color. Entire sets. Newer. Improved. Cooler. Better. Nicer. You need it. You deserve it. Treat yourself. For the occasion. For those you love. It will be perfect. It will match now. It will stand out. Collectibles and unique one time offers. 
Gotta catch them all.

I saw a very inspiring Ted talk on the topic of living a minimalist life which I also would recommend you to see. It's called Less stuff, more happiness by Graham Hill.

It is far away from my lifestyle and probably many others, but maybe it can inspire to reconsider and loosen the attachment to our possessions.

I don’t know if I’m “cured” of my collecting. Probably not. I will most likely make many more playlists, write many more poems, post many more images in social media and fill an unknown number of clouds and drives. At the same time I will not be as affected by the crashing, breaking and losing. Because we’re all going to be freed of everything one day. By that time it will feel good to know that you were truly there and not in your next art piece.

Take back the pride in your stack!

I was talking to one of my dear friends about social media and as usual my friend had a great deal wisdom to bring. Here's a little story (based on true events):

Ziggy's father went out and chopped some wood. When he had done so he was proud of himself and his accomplishments. Later on he saw an image in social media of a greater stack of chopped wood and the proud owner of the stack, yet his feeling for his accomplishments remained the same. Why was that? He told Ziggy that although that pile is much much greater than his and they both exist in this same world, the other one is not a part of HIS world. He did not make it and it has no impact on his life. It's not real to him, only an image from someone else's life.

Now me and many of you may not have much experience with chopping wood, but haven't we all seen accomplishments that we have valued as "greater" than our own? Haven't many of us felt pride over something just to suddenly have it overwritten by someone else's display of greatness?
This can be applied in all aspects of life. In work, self-expression, creativity, appearance, physical and spiritual state of being. I'm not saying deny all that is not directly linked to you. Be inspired, but take caution so it doesn't backfire into the crippling state of jealousy or feeling like "I could never do that". Social media can be a bit one sided sometimes as many use it to enhance their best sides and show the results more often than the road there, flaws and mistakes.

I think this is a great reminder for us to remain proud of what we do. To take caution in comparison, because let's face it there may be someone who's greater than you in some way. But here's the great news: Your greatness can exist at the same time! It does not cancel each other out. It's not a competition. Your journey, your progress, your time and effort should always remain more valuable to you.

Take pride in your stack, whatever it may be.
You have made this.
You've come a long way my friend and I am proud of you.
KEEP DOING YOUR THING!

The good with the bad (dreams)

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night from a horrible dream that suddenly got you to worry your heart out? 

I had a terrible dream the other night, one that is reoccurring and always seems to come in times of stress. I was wide awake in horror BUT THEN remembered that YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR MIND (not the other way around). So there was this sudden burst of energy and I started writing... a sort of poem if you will:

I guess bad dreams 

are just efficient ways of showing us that we care 

or to make us aware that we are human and have fears

To remind us

that there are things we can't control 

in other ways than how we handle it

To bring awareness

to our subconscious mind

To test us

To prepare us

To make us stronger

To have faith

in the world to continue those pirouettes

and darkness to break into day

To know

that the universe got our backs (even literally)

To prove to us

of the impact 

of images and imagination

To remind us of the intelligent thought sorting system that is 

the state of sleep and dream

To train our ability to interpret

or let go

A bad dream always ends

and where do you go then?

Back to your life

which you actually to a large extent can control

There's a brand new day ahead of you

and that's real

That's something to wake up to

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS BEEP

So.

This week was hectic to say the least. Maybe it was for you too?

It's easy to when we have much going on to kind of let go of the good routines or our practise... and sometimes that might honestly be what we need. To feel good is not always obsessing about the healthy and forcing our rituals on ourselves when we already have a lot of strain. Sometimes a cup of hot chocolate can bring just as much feeling of goodness as the healthiest thing you can think of.

What I'm trying to say here is don't be too hard on yourself if you can't stick to it sometimes, especially when you feel you've already got the world on your shoulders. That's when you need that extra support. To feel the world got your back.

Don't color your day with a bad mood.

But then there's that inner struggle of I HAVE TO THIS AND I HAVE TO THAT AND AAAAAAH! So there's things to be done, 

but 

what you need the most is your breath. You can return to it at any time. Wherever you are. It takes no time and very little effort. Yet it gives much back. That's the beauty of it.

If you're stressed. Breathe. 

If you are in pain. Breathe. 

If you're upset. Breathe. 

If you're overwhelmed. Breathe. 

If you've had enough of reading this just give yourself a break and breathe instead. 

Surely you will get into that kind of situation again. Not all days can be a manifestation of flow. Of course you can prepare for the challenges, but when all is said and done... in the heat of the moment there might feel like there is only one way (there is never just one way!) and we might forget all about our brilliant techniques of stress management when we need them the most. 

When it happens just remind yourself.

Take a moment.

You can choose how to feel. 

You can choose a better way.

You got this.

You have time for this breath.

Wrists: Strength instead of strain!

I had my first full class teaching experience last week and tomorrow I am getting ready for the second session of Hatha yoga (which I've written more about in an earlier post.) Happy to say I am more excited than nervous. This is my thing. Feeling it! This has also been a good opportunity for me to dive back into the basics, to better explain to the students.

In work and our everyday life we put a lot of strain on our wrists. Using computers, pencils, phones and more we're letting the fingers and our whole hands get into a closed almost grabby state. This means when we open up the hands as we do i.e. downward facing dog we may feel strain in the wrists due to the hands not being flexible enough. Since all is connected within the body, if you're not flexible in one place it will be taken out in another area. It may sound like a good thing, but it can get you into a lot of strain or even injury. So let's stay clear of that. 

A point I like to add is that in my family we have a history of wrist pain. Yoga has made it much better for me, but we're all different. If your wrist pain is due to a medical condition always consult your physician first. It's important to listen to your body as well as to challenge and build yourself up. 

Of course I have to recommend a video to help you on your way: Yoga with Adriene got the stuff!  The "Yoga for wrist pain" video is a both fun and great way to work on the wrists so you can enjoy your practise even more. I love her energy and playful take on yoga, but if that's not your style, you crave something else or just want more there are loads online on wrists and yoga.

Stay balanced!

Bad at nothing?

So there's not been a word from me in a while. It's not because I'm doing nothing. Frankly I'm quite bad at doing nothing. They don't call me a project horder for nothing. Even on days off there's often a to do list. Despite this the yoga pracise is now on hold apart from a bit of stretching and occasional restorative asanas. Not because I wanted to stop, but because I had to. I've had an awful cold for almost three weeks now and it's been going up and down like a rollercoaster and I fear the fact that I wasn't accepting the changed physical limits and pushed myself like I was invincible is what kept me under the weather. Now is the last stage of this cold, I can feel it. The final hill. Finally.

Now is also the last of the summer. You know when you're so close to reaching your goal and something gets in the way, something which is not an obstacle you can overcome... the disappointment can be great. I wasn't too far from that head stand I said I would do before the end of summer... when I caught this cold. I know I will be able to do sirsasana, but before summer is over? No certainty. I want to curse this stubborn cold, but what's the use...

Looking at sickess from a positive angle it is actually helpful to us. It can help us slow down and realize the importance of rest and recovery. Help us realize that we should be happy for each day that we and the ones around us are in good health, never taking it for granted. Also for you multi-taskers, doers and project horders like me... learn how to do nothing! This skill is easy to forget in the world we live in today. I'm not advising apathetically staring at walls here, what I'm talking about is actively chosing to not engage in any activity. To put things at hold to put yourself first. To recharge. To simply be and find your positive way of mind. Stop yourself if you hear yourself saying or even thinking I AM SICK. The sickness is NOT a part of you. Your immune system is not a rare mythical creature hiding far away (although the pharmacies would like you to believe otherwise). You got the ability to heal yourself always. Believe in it.

Another good thing about these passed weeks is that I've had a lot of time to plan for my new life as a student. So this term I'm happy to announce I will start my education in Digital Media in a little town near Göteborg!

That's about all I can give today. I don't know when I'll see you again, might be tomorrow, might be two more weeks... in any case I wish you luck on your journey.
Peace be with you.

HEALTHY HAPPY HOLY

If everything happens for a reason then this time is a reminder for me not to get too eager in my practice. To stay aware. To pay attention to the body. To build a strong connection between it and the mind. Yoga with Adrienne's "yoga for when you are sick" is all that I've been able to do now for three days. It's good though. Without it I don't think I would have been able to get up at 3am and work for 11 hours. I was reading up on the types of yoga and found restorative yoga. Thinking that could be an option for the moment.

 What is restorative yoga? 
You use props like pillows, blankets and blocks to allow the body to completely relax and rest into the positions. It's meditative and of course restorative. No effort. No stress. Just allow yourself to breathe and be. Found a good example to try today after work. Yes, sorry it's in Swedish, but the pictures are universal. Yoga för dig - Restorative yoga med Sofia Norén

When one is sick we tend to get stuck in a mindset that is like a broken radio playing only songs about sickness. It's easy to focus on how bad it feels and how limited it makes you. It's destructive and can even make the sickness linger or worsen. Because the body listens to the feeling and the feeling depends upon your thoughts. So if you focus on the parts of your body that are good. If you focus on getting better then recovery will be faster.

 Affirmations 
I saw Dr. Masaru Emoto's water molecule experiments which were mentioned in the film "What the bleep do we know?" (2004). I think it's an excellent inspiration for us to use affirmations. To understand that we have power to affect ourselves and others. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term "affirmation" it is positive words or sentances in present form what contain no nos, don'ts and nevers which we repeat to ourselves, sort of like mantras, to get into the mindset of what we want or where want to be. It's also the title of a song by Savage Garden, which I'm not refering to in this case, despite the catchiness. Here's some affirmations and mantras that the world has brought me to get better the last few days. Now I'm passing them on to you.

Raa Maa Daa Saa 
Saa Say So Hung
Sit in easy pose (legs crossed) with your elbows gentlyresting at the sides of your ribcage lifting your hands up at a 45 degree angle with palms flat and facing the sky. Ready to recieve. Breath in deeply and slowly and as you exhale chant the words above all in one breath. Chant powefully from the navel area for 11 minutes. To learn about the musical notes etc. here's a more detailed description of how to chant it. The meaning is:
Raa - Sun 
Maa - Moon  
Daa - Earth (reciever of totality)
Saa - Totality
Say - Spirit, energy
So - Manifestation
Hung - Experience of thou

Find what feels good
This is something I picked up from Adrienne. Whenever you're practicing yoga or doing anything physical, instead of complaining or struggling remind yourself to find what feels good. Adjust it. Change it. Rock into it. Swing into it. Lean into it. Gently roll into it. Breathe into it. Repeat until you find the way that works for you, paying special attention to what your body says. When you fint it, stay there for a bit and enjoy.

Healthy am I
Happy am I
Holy am I
Breathe in slowly and deeply and as you breath out chant the words above. Chant out loud for one minute, silently for a few minutes and then bring it with you the rest of the day. Whenever you catch yourself thinking a negative or destructive thought just patiently remind yourself of your healthiness, happiness and holiness.

The three lessons.

I went to two very different classes yesterday: Yin yoga in the morning at Drottning Victorias Vilohem in Borgholm and then Global yoga at Namayoga in Kalmar.

 What's Yin yoga? 
Yin means heaven or a force of expansion. A type of yoga based on the old Chinese Tao yoga. Through this yoga you work with your flexibility and endurance. You hold the asanas and for a few minutes as you focus on the breath, moving more and more into the position as you breathe out. The yin yoga puts emphasis on activating hips, pelvis and lower part of your spine. It's soft and meditative. You really listen to your body as you stretch.
The class I went to was short (ca 45 minutes) small and cozy. It doesn't feel like a workout, more like meditation in which the body sometimes gets involved. Nurturing and caring. The good thing about breakfast yoga was that us participants could stay in the mindset and discuss together after the class rather then rushing off into the rest of the day. I even stayed longer to reflect alone over a cup of tea, waiting out the summer rain.

 What's Global yoga? 
East meets West in a pretty new type of yoga by Swedish founder Johanna Andersson. What signifies this style is that it's a faster playful and energetic mix of different types of yoga from many of the corners of our globe, but it's made for the fast paced urban humans of our time in a society where the body doesn't move around as much as the brain does. So it's a lot of physical exercise intertwined with stillness of the mind. Every class has an "intention" - a message to reflect upon. You can also have a free intention which is you pay extra attention to something, like focussing on healing or bringing energy to a certain part of your body or soul. Here's global yoga's manifesto:

Yesterday's intention was 

"Have faith that everything you need will come to you." 

I've been to global yoga before at Ananda yoga studio. This time it was different. Since I still have some kind of infection I was sweating furiously and experiencing a major "setback". It was a 75 minute session, noone was a beginner and we were about 8 participants. Since it was the first time I was with a friend at yoga class I think my showoff side woke up and even though I heard my body saying no I didn't always listen. So today my knees are barely good for walking and I'm feverish and cold. At first it made me angry having to "surrender" to my physical limitations but I realized this was the third lesson of the day. One which I will never forget. An important lesson that I had to learn. The suffering is mostly of my own making for I wasn't humble enough to accept it yesterday. If it's a lesson you're ignoring the test will come to you over and over until you pass. 

Thank you dear body for your patience with me when I'm a stubborn child. I'm sorry I didn't listen. I'm sorry I hurt you. Thank you for teaching me to be humble. It was much needed. 

In our family it seems we're really good at getting passionate about things, always up to something, getting involved to the point where the rest of the world is seemingly forgotten. This is sometimes said to be characteristics of an artist which of course I was proud to have. We do need to get better at simply being without analyzing or thinking "what can I make out of this?" without wanting. Without judging. Without doing. Only breathing and accepting

this is me now

this is now

this is

it is

Sick and yoga?

- Morning -

I was stiff yesterday so I was a bit careful with the yoga, but I still did it because I thought it would help me loosen up. When I woke up this morning it was even harder to move. The head heavy and hurting. The nose basically closed off despite the season. Tired even though I slept well.

Most definately dealing with a case of the common cold here. 

So, can you still yoga while you have a cold? 
Note that although I have an interest in yoga and health I am not an expert of any sort.
If you're really sick you should always consult a physician.

First off listen to your body. When you're sick it makes the rules. You need your body get where you want to be, do what you want to do and experience the world. When you're sick your body needs you. Appreciate it. Respect it. Take care of it.

If you feel you are able to yoga then you can, but very very gently. Start off in short sequences with simple asanas and gradually (within a few days...don't pressure yourself, it can take longer) get back into it. It's best to avoid any upside down poses like the plow and headstands... even savasana should in some cases be avoided. There are some standing up or sitting down asanas that are really good for the occasion. 

If you don't feel like you can practise yoga then just take care of yourself.

Honestly I don't dare to try the luck before work, in case I'd be feeling worse. I'm just going to drink ginger, get a bit of sunlight if I can find it and have large quantities of water. When you have a cold, don't forget to keep it cool, no stress.

This is an excellent time for reading, catching up on theoretical practise (if your head agrees) and for me it's also a time of learning to accept. I usually have a hard time accepting that I'm not invincible all the time. The only super hero I can be today is super chill. Don't push it and don't feel bad for having to take a step back.

Here's some more upon the subject:

Yoga Journals article "Tips for practicing yoga while sick"
Yoga with Adrienne's video "Yoga for when you are sick" (20 minutes, calm session)

Brett Larkin's video on "Yoga for sickness" (30 minutes, more movements)

Elephant journal's article"Should we practice yoga when we're sick?"

- Evening -

I managed yoga with Adrienne (and the downward dog without any discomfort)! Feeling slightly better, but we'll see about the mornings. Booked for 7:30am breakfast yoga and then 6:00pm global yoga class. Inbetween there will be math, master chef ingeniousness and feeling good.
Golden milk and Murakami. Sweet. Dreams.

Oh snap! What was that?

Reading up on unintentionally cracking joints. It's been happening quite a lot lately.

What I know so far is that it's debated wether it is good for you or bad for you to crack joints, and it hasn't got too much proof on either side. What I hear a lot of yogis saying is that it's natural, and it's no harm in unintentionally doing so. If you experience pain or swelling then that's of course no good.

Two hours of yoga today! Got up at 2:45 to have time before work. Then came home and had chillout yoga and meditation in the garden. Progress on the cow face (connecting hands behind back like mentioned in post "The good, the bad and the patience.") and overall keeping in touch with the body and present moment. Discipline is better than ever, although I want to cut down on my blog writing time. I told myself I'd be finished... 45 minutes ago.

Going to bed soon because tomorrow will be sort of the same procedure of yoga, work yoga, but harder more stressful work since the guests are leaving the hotel. Best be prepared.

Celebrate everyday through balanced living. No hangovers, no emotional rollercoasters... all the time you make the mostest. Haha, can you tell I'm tired? AAAAAND I'M GONE.

Live like you learn

It had been a while since I was last faced with a design related task. Design has always been like lover to me. The incredible passion that fills you with fun ideas and you just want to spend time together. Unfortunately we've kind of lost echother. It had become too destructive. I was giving, but not getting anything back, or rather, giving all I got to the point there was none of me left for me. Then yesterday we met again through the design application for Broby Grafiska which was due today. At once I remembered why I fell for design and why we fell apart. When you get stuck in a destructive relationship there are three different ways you can go:

1. You can go down with the ship.

2. You can leave the ship and either swim for your life or hold onto something else as you watch it sink before your eyes.

3. You can row it ashore and make it better then try again.

And if you can't decide which way to go 

then you can always go for the classic rock, paper, scissors....

(this picture is a detail from the application)

Since I've put a lot of work into this design passion, I'm not willing to let her sink. I'll have the number 3, please!

Since stress is commonly based on our way of handling different situations (or rather failing to do so) I assume I need to change my relationship toward design. If I look at what happens with me when I work with design it's pretty much the opposite of the outcome of yoga. The breath quickens and becomes shallow as if I had ran a marathon, the posture becomes slouchy and hopeless or locked into unnatural unbalanced tense positions for a long time. The perspective tends to change aswell. My own value goes down as the urgency to accomplish greatness goes up. This makes it easy to forget or ignore oneself and ones needs. You "don't have time" for breaks, although deep down you know you work better if you take them. 

The common denominators that can be found in yoga and working with design are that they are both about finding focus to be able to reflect, create, develop and perfect. To reach a higher place. Exceed imagination. Yet, the result for me are worlds apart, atleast when it comes to wellness.

The universe has it's way of bringing us exactly what we need. Although I managed the assignment I still failed myself. Just barely making the deadline, stressed, hungry, worn and still not satisfied with my performance. There were three ways I could look upon it. The same as above. So I decided to row it ashore and make it better... Remember how I said I wish I could bring what I feel on the yoga mat with me as I do other things? Here's some of the best of yoga that I wish to apply on my relationship to the design process:

THE MINDSET - EVERYTHING IS TRAINING

In yoga you're not demanding immediate perfection. Partially because you know it can always get better and because you know you're just a student in training. With this attitude you can be more patient with yourself and give it more time to strive upwards. You'll feel satisfied knowing that you're just doing you're best. 

THE STRATEGY - WISE TIME USE

Yoga is practised in sessions, gradually and smoothly working to reach your goal. The practise is daily and vary from being short reminders of mindfulness to one hour or longer sessions. Limiting your focus time ensures that you're not wearing yourself out, even though you take the time to challenge yourself. 

ONE MORE THING: DO WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU DO IT

This is kind of a mantra for me. Yoga when you yoga. Find your space, piece of mind. Quiet as possible, or with music if it helps you relax. Everything I do on the yoga mat is yoga or meditation related. Prioritize yoga. No multitasking. No procrastination. No distractions. No excuses. 

The outcome of working with design related tasks, even though I love it, is so different because I've been doing the opposite. It will take a lot of practise. I've spent many hours building these destructive tendencies. You must know it is not a part of you. If you're aware you will notice the roots of your behaviour before you trip on them. 

Better than reality - bad habit.

I used to be a big time snoozer and honestly the first thought that appears when the alarm clock goes off is still sometimes oh how sweet it would be to fall asleep again. Please just a little bit more... 

NO. 

Why? 

You will not enjoy it as much as you enjoy the thought of it AND it even tends to make you more tired. If it's hard for you to wake up then why on earth would you force yourself to do it more than once? 

The mornings are becoming more sacred. As appreciated as important. I'm always eager to get up "earlier" for morning yoga. This really helps waking up on the "right" side. Good attitude, good connection with the present, body and mind. So get up when you wake up! I clean my mouth and grab a glass of lemon water. Lit candle. Hit the mat. Timer and inspiration book at the side. The best way to feel when the timer beeps is relieved and disappointed at the same time. Because it should be demanding (in a good way.)

The body is used to it now. When I take it away I feel it the same and the next day. Something's missing hmm? Looks like it's finally become a habit, a routine. Getting more and more into the mindset, understanding more, being more present... but of what value is knowledge if it can't be put into practise?
I'm looking forward to when I can bring the mindset out in the "real world". When I can feel around people what I'm feeling in my yogic training... As always the mind is good at the associating game, usually linking things to the past or future, away from the present moment. This time it was the past.
... A few years ago I had enough. I just wanted to up and leave this society. I desperately wanted to find an ashram in India and find that peace. It's a good thought, but if the words of monk Thích Nhất Hạnh "there's no enlightment outside of daily life" are true then... OK, let's say I went to an ashram. Let's say I found that peace, but how would I bring it back with me? How could I fit it into the daily life with all it's stress, pressure and rules? With all the places, faces and things distracting me. It would be easier to find peace in an ashram becasue you would have the perfect setting, the perfect schedule, the perfect peer pressure and the perfect way of life served for you. Devoting your life to peace and making it a priority you would find it faster. Out here it's more difficult. Then again if you manage to center yourself and stabilize despite all the noise of the world around you then you would have no transition problem, no adjusting problem and you wouldn't long for the ashram whenever things weren't heading "your way". You would have the strength of making it on your own. Yes, it is harder to find here but easier to keep because it is tailored for your particular life situation. Don't get me wrong, I would still like to visit an ashram, monks and all, but not in desperate pursuit of peace. If you chase it you can't catch it, but if you sit down patiently it will come to you, no matter where you are.

By the way, it looks like there will be breakfast yoga three days of the week for the staff at work. Thank you universe!

Sometimes the thought is "better" than reality.

We tend to glorify our bad habits.

Always remember

it's a choice between

what you want NOW 

and 

 what you want the most.

Stages of silence - Maun Vrat.

On a day off I highly recommend you to engage in silence. 

I've done this a few times now and it's an important experience. The thing with choosing silence is that you practise your discipline, your focus, listening and acceptance, as well as non verbal communication skills. I noticed there are a few stages I usually go through when I go into silence, of course it depends on circumstances and objectives. I often engage in silence when I feel I've accumulated too much negativity to the point it's is spilling out my mouth. To avoid a domino effect of bad vibes and to instead regain control I simply shut up, without shutting myself in. Even though this is a good method of self reflection I recommend one to focus on the surrounding, being present and trying to experience things as they are. 

It's important that you if you live with someone let them know before you engage in silence. You don't need a fancy explanation. Wanting to try something is a valid reason. 

I live with my father and he was often annoyed in the beginning (and after a few days he got used to it and was almost disappointed when I started talking again haha!) At first he would ask questions frequently expecting a immediate response. 

The cool thing about being in a conversation when not verbally communicating is that you will listen more, because you're not focussing on your turn to speak. This might engage the person you're "talking to" to actually open up more. Some of my dad's best stories have been told when I was in silence. Last time he told me

"You know... the gurus and sadhus also go into silence, it is an old technique. Their followers explain to others that come to see the guru that the guru is in Maun Vrat, in silence. So the visitors still come to ask their questions and they will find their answers even though the guru never said a word."

I'm no guru, but I believe there is one in all of us. I also believe in the silence as a method for discovery within and without ourselves. Upon my last time of silence the stages I went through were something like this: 

Frustration:

- I have something I want to say!

- It's important!

- I don't know how to answer that without words

- I want to interrupt you

- I don't agree because... ARGH I can't say that without words!

- I just thought of something I think you would like to hear

- Look at me, my eyes want to say something! 

You're totally at the mercy of the other one when you're communicating with your eyes and gestures, if it's not physical you need them to look. They will not always look when you "need" them to, meaning they are to a large extent deciding when it's your turn to speak. 

Restlessness:

- So...what to do when we don't talk?

- I want to sing

- I want to vent (this is usually code for complaining)

- Do I have to listen to this?

Adjusting:

- Ok, so I don't talk. 

This is when thoughts begin to calm down. 

Changing pace of thinking and the senseless ranting will quiet down.

Changing communication method exaggerating non verbal expressions.

Engaging in the conversation in a simplified way. This rules out nagging, the unimportant bits because who wants to small talk when it's a hassle just being understood? 

Listening more (and noticing more of the other one's non verbal communication)

Long or short silence. It usually happens when the other one's done talking (even the most talkative person will quiet sometime) and we're not filling in with most likely our own opinion or a repetition of what the other one's said in other words... or subject change... which in Sweden eventually ends up in a weather forecast. There will be more silence when you're not talking.

Reflection: 

-I know I can't say what I'm thinking, but what would I say if I could?

-How would the other one react? Can I say it in a better way?

-Why do I feel the need to say it?

-Is it important?

Here's where you start to change your automatic responses, because you will not have an immediate reaction anymore. 

Gratitude:

Enjoying the conversation more.

Enjoying the silence more.

The most important things can be said without words.

Looking forward to when you can speak again. 

Hopefully more aware of how powerful and beautiful words are. 

They're a gift that we're constantly giving and recieving.

This happened on an afternoon. It's good to stay in silence for a longer time to really clear your head. Beware of cutting yourself off from the world or getting stuck in negative thought. The best way to do this is to be as present as possible, enjoying the sensations of the body and surroundings. This time I had focus on my breath and the feeling of my feet. I've done up to about four days with different stages and results, 

but always ended up in gratitude.

Look again. See the bird? Would you have seen it if I hadn't said it?

Ardha Padmasana - half lotus.

Can one be bad at sitting? Uhm...yes and no.

Well, everyone knows how to sit (even bad dogs, but they just don't want to!) honestly I found it difficult with the classic meditation poses. The back started aching after a while, back rounded instead of straight and the shoulders became tense. There was no balance and hard to focus. The posture I thought I had was nowhere to be found! It was a bit awkward at a mantra meditation class when we were supposed to sit and chant during a long time. How do people relax sitting like that for hours!?! I fell over. In double sense. I kinda just avoided it then for a while. Focusing on the standing asanas instead. Since the decision to get more into meditation it's become important to get comfortable sitting down. Therefor there was need for daily practise. I've done it only for a couple of days, really trying to enjoy the hip opening poses and gradually getting the knees a little bit closer to the floor in the butterfly exercise. 

SO TODAY in the almost sunset (it's summer, the sun is allowed to stay up late!) I managed Ardha Padmasana. The half lotus. Even on the right side (my tricky side)! Much to my surprise, once I was in it, the back and posture kind of just found me and I could focus on my meditation. 

At the end of the week it will most likely be super comfortable!

If you don't hear from me for the rest of the week it's probably because I'm lost in meditation, and the enjoyment of being able to sit in Ardha Padmasana. 

That's it for today.

The good, the bad and the patience.

It's easy to be harsh toward one's self. I can be really tough and impatient sometimes.

Thankfully yoga helps notice when that's happening and quiet down the harsh ruler who wants perfection now, without working for it. There's no instant change. You can't get SUDDENLY SUPER FLEXIBLE. The body doesn't work that way. You have to build it. With the slow progress comes the more sustainable result.

It's quite common to be more flexible on one side than the other. For me left has always been the "good side" while right just needs more time. More practise. More patience. More understanding.

I used to press the right side until it hurt. This is the greatest difference between regular exercise and yoga. The awareness. You have to listen to your body. No means no, maybe means ok go until no. Never go past no.

There's an asana where you connect your hands behind back with one elbow reaching up and one down. I tried a few times but just couldn't reach. Then a few nights ago while I was brushing my teeth I had one hand behind my back. Then I started wondering... how far can it go? The pose came into my head and I let go of the toothbrush to reach the left hand with my right. WOW!

So how do I practice the right side for this?

Grab a scarf. Hold one end with your left hand. Breathe in and lift the scarf up above your head and as you breathe out fold the arm above your head behind your back. You don't have to reach far. Take the right hand behind your back and reach up, grabbing the other end of the scarf. Very gently pull the scarf, bringing your right hand just a little further up your back every time that you breathe in. Just a little bit more. Just as far as feels comfortable. Stay. Breathe 5 more deep breaths through the nose. Exhale as you slowly let go. Then use your right hand to gently pull down the left. 5 breaths. Let go and exhale. Remember to do the exercise on both sides to maintain balance. Eventually when the time is right. You won't need the scarf anymore!

The great thing is that it gets easier each time. I still can't reach the other way, but there's great comfort in knowing that it's possible. Yesterday the fingertips touched and that's enough progress to keep me going. 

The full breath

We come with a lot of built in mechanisms. One of them is the breath. Our lives are depending on it. We're born with the breath and we will surely depart together with it. We think we know what we're doing but most of us are actually taking shallow breaths, only using the very top of our lungs. This results in quick breathing, less emotional and physical resilience and not getting as much air as we actually could... and should! By using the full potential of our breath we get more oxygen, better blood circulation, immune system and we also become more present. Our mind follows our breath and our body follows our mind.

Why should we breathe through the nose? As he air goes through the nasal passage the temperature and moisture of the air is adjusted to suit our bodies. When you breathe through the mouth it doesn't have a filter like the nose so we're exposed to more bacteria and the mouth becomes dry with an increased bad breath, risk of cavities and gum disease. It is also not possible to breathe as slow and take up the oxygen properly when using the mouth.

So we can reduce stress and boost energy instantly by just adding awareness into what we're already doing? You don't need to sit in a lotus with your hands in mudras (certain powerful hand gestures) and focus on the third eye, but if you can you're welcome to. What you really need is just a moment and focus. Do you want to enhance yourself? The breath is up to you!